Update

So I have a total of 19 more school days at Ike 9! To add some more icing to the cake, the last day is the math TAKS test. I will most likely take up position at some random corner in the school and be a hall monitor. Legally I cannot be left in the room alone with the students and I don’t want to be left in charge of a TAKS test anyways.

Night

So we are reading Night in the English classes. This is a Holocaust memoir written by Elie Wiesel. I have never read it before, but can be grateful for the memory preserved on page by Wiesel. However grateful I am, I do not like to focus on such sad, horrific stories and planning for the classes has become a challenge because of this book. I just want it to be over so that I wouldn't have to read about these ghastly memories. To top it all off the students do not see any value in this book. I find it ironic because every single one of them would have been targeted by Hitler. They are just so focused on the now, not their future or the world's history, but NOW! Even though it is a thin book, it has taken us a long time to read 60 pages in class.

What's the point to this life?

So lately I’ve been asking myself… what’s the point? What’s the point of working at a job that is a lot of stress? What’s the point of even attempting at a career when I could easily get a low paying job that I wouldn’t have to care about (if you know me at all you know that I wouldn’t be content with a low paying, responsibility-free job)? I’ve been wondering about the point of life for awhile now, but the stress of student teaching has really made me wonder what do I want most from life?

After a little bit of thought I can honestly say I want a family first and foremost out of life. However, I don’t think I could handle the stress of bringing children into this world without insurance and financial stability. How do you do it otherwise? Since Chris doesn’t have a career yet and I’m at the beginning of my own journey, the idea of having a family will have to be put on hold for a couple of years right??? Unfortunately I have strategically placed these pictures of Chris and I on the wall at eye level by my computer… smart huh? Now all I see are our cute faces smiling back at us and I wonder when is our day for a family going to come?

Post Secret

So I came across the Post Secret movement by accident a few years ago. It's a great idea that helps people with guilt, loss, and/or depression; but, it's also very trendy these days. I have enjoyed reading the new secrets every Sunday on the Post Secret blog; however, I wonder if all the people who send in secrets have selfless motivations. I googled the "faking it mormon" blog this morning and read up on the new phenomenon that was an unknown blog less than 24 hours ago. Did the author send in her secret to promote her blogging career? It's an interesting question to pose. Whatever her motivations are I think her posts are funny... but I can't say I support her purpose completely. I feel bad that she dislikes the Mormon culture that much, but I hate to think of the many people who will read her posts and assume the worst. The LDS church gets a bad rap from every outlet, but people aren't that smart. No one takes the time to find out for themselves because we are used to instant gratification. What if 70% of her commenters actually observed and took part in the LDS religion? Would they be singing the same tune?

If you can't tell, I'm homesick for the Mormon culture. I miss it a lot. I enjoy learning more about Texas every day, but I also appreciate where I came from. I am not an active Mormon, but I don't mentally complain about the church anymore.

An Update

So I am working with a beginning intermediate and a beginning ESL class. I have enjoyed both but the beginning ESL class has been a challenge for me. We are working on a grammar interactive notebook and we are currently on pronouns. In one lesson I pronounced “demonstrative” like demonstrate-ive and “interrogative” like inter-ro-ga-tive. However, they are not pronounced like they are spelled (funny how that works in English). None of the students knew that of course ; ) but I was informed by Ms. Therrell after the fact. It was funny, to say the least, but the lesson went well and it’s over.

Now we are on verbs (a much easier concept to understand) and there is a new student in the class. His name is Sergio and he has been at COMPASS for the last month and a half. COMPASS is the alternative campus that students are sent to after they are written up for behavioral problems. The intervention steps before COMPASS are D-hall and SAC (in school suspension). This boy has been disruptive enough to earn a stint in COMPASS, not an easy thing to accomplish unless you try. *side note* this observation shows just how biased I was from the moment I met him.

Sergio would not do his warm up because he didn’t have a pencil. So I offered him a marker. Five minutes later Sergio was still not working and had his feet on the desk. Like Ms. Therrell (who was outside) I told him to please take his feet off the desk and start his warm up. Instead of working he looked up at me and then at the student next to him Martin (who is a very, very attentive student). He started saying puta… puta… puta (1) repeatedly. Martin slapped his him to stop (2), and Sergio made a suggestive movement (3) with his hands.

My brain added 1 + 2 + 3 = he was calling me a bitch. I told him to stop and finish his work. After about 10 min I went to the adjoining classroom to inform Ms. Therrell what Sergio thought of me. At the end of the period Ms. Therrell pulled him out of the room to talk to him. She came back and informed me that he was saying point, point, point repeatedly. I was offended the most by the fact that Ms. Therrell wouldn’t believe me. I guess it stems from the fact that I hear Ms. Therrell rave about her students daily even though she doesn’t challenge them at all. They can chew gum, text, write notes, and talk during every lesson it doesn’t matter to her. I guess I was gearing up for her to support my discipline move with Sergio, but I was reminded of the fact that I don’t speak Spanish by my cooperating teacher. In the heat of the moment it was a spit in the face. Why would Sergio work when I ask him to in the future? Ms. Therrell wouldn’t enforce that.

Funny Story

Monday- talked with cooperating teachers about taking Friday off to spend time with my mother. They both agreed with enthusiasm.

Wednesday-told fellow student teachers at an Aldine District meeting. They were enthusiastic as well. 30 min later… the meeting on ethics began.

It was hilarious to receive a lecture about “excessive absenteeism” after admitting that I was calling in sick, so to speak. Thankfully these student teachers were not total suck ups like the others in the crowd. I have noticed that the BYU students (10 BYU students compared to 2 USU students at Aldine) are more willing to brown nose to the only 2 district representatives at the meetings. But love them or hate them they are from Utah and I miss my home culture a lot.

Student teaching is going pretty well so far. I have embraced the reality of teaching in AISD (Aldine) with an open and very cynical attitude. The students DON’T want to be there… have no notion of the real world… and think that you enjoy telling them what to do every two seconds. Teachers must teach to the test, literally, since they are evaluated on the results, but their number one focus is classroom management. I believe you could not truly enjoy teaching your content in Aldine because discipline and the students’ academic level are the primary focus in the classroom. Can a student grasp an intellectual question if they are worried about their boyfriend, appearing as a thug, and wondering what an adjective is? DIDN’T I TELL YOU I’M CYNICAL! However frustrating this district can be, I still believe it would be an amazing learning experience and I’m going to stick it out.

Another reason I am frustrated at the moment is the lack of future planning with my teachers. I can’t plan for a week in advance because the teachers themselves don’t know what they have planned for tomorrow. Grant it these teachers are under a lot of stress and their curriculum got changed by the department head for the first time this year. I have a lot of sympathy for both teachers, but that doesn’t help me please my University Supervisor or practice lesson planning skills. It’s been an interesting few weeks in limbo, but I hope I get accepted into the gates of heaven pretty soon. I don’t know if the Heatons read my blog… but if they do they should still move down here so we could have friends. That and I think Blake would be a great teacher in AISD.

Grandma Merket

Grandma Merket passed away on Sunday night surrounded by her family. I am very sad to see her leave this world because she so graciously opened her arms and accepted me as family. I have not had the opportunity to get to know most of my grandparents before they passed and was able to enjoy experiences with Grandma Merket. Chris is also torn up which is hard for me to see. I love this family so much that any sadness is overwhelming.

Another sad fact is that I will not be attending the funeral. I feel very torn up about this, but must face reality. Chris will be able to go and spend some time with his family which is what he needs. I am excited for him to see everyone but madly jealous at the same time. My sympathies go out to the Merket family especially Grandpa Merket. I pray they will all be comforted in the knowledge that she is pain free and just waiting for them to join her.